My mind isn’t racing. It is blissfully cruising. It is not worried. It is just taking it slow for now, and it is having fun entertaining a few simple, but unanswered topics.
Now that I have hyped myself up, let me bring things down.
I still don’t know anything.
How do I know what it is that I want when there are dozens of people around me telling me what I want to. Does their input become part of my desire, or just another useless memory? Too often I let people tell me what I desire.
No human knows me more than me.
I am the final stop. I am the definer. I am who I make myself.
Crap, I keep writing ‘myslef”.
I am apparently a.d.d. or something…
I am … an entirely different topic to write about…
Seperating those two ideas, what people want me to want, and want for me, and what I want to be and want for me, is somewhat hard. It becomes even harder when I think that the two shouldn’t agree, and somewhere they do.
That is my current problem.
Part of the problem is that I personally don’t think about myself, and what I want all that much, but when I talk to others that seems to be all they want to talk about, leading me to think about myself, when I really don’t believe that I should be the focus. This is probably good because I am a procrastinator and would probably avoid any and all self oriented questions altogether if it was up to me. So, Its a good thing, even thought I don’t think it is.
That last sentence sounds like something I would imagine tim baker writting in a book.
Even then I keep coming back to the question, “is that what I really need, or is it something that I want because it was mentioned”
I hate this.
why can’t I just figure things out.
all I have to do is ask.
thats all
whats at stake?
that, I don’t know
to quote myself,
“fear is the unknown”
according to google, that is a line from some micheal jackson song…
dang, I am only as original as micheal jackson
how do you conquor the unknown? you known….
how do you known?
you ask